


The Flash High School AU

by Savy_tries_to_be_a_writer



Category: Snowbarry - Fandom, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, High School AU, SnowBarry - Freeform, the flash au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4537671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savy_tries_to_be_a_writer/pseuds/Savy_tries_to_be_a_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his mother was killed in a freaky incident his father was somehow framed for, Barry moved in with his bff and crush Iris, and her dad Joe West. Now in their senior year, Barry and Iris are still best friends and it’s safe to say the crush is still there, even though Iris is dating popular pretty boy and star of the track team Eddie Thawne. And now not only his other best friend Cisco (who, together with Joe, is the only one who knows about the incident during the summer which left Barry with super speed) keeps Barry company in his AP classes, the new girl Caitlin Snow seems to be hugely into science as well. And with the homecoming dance in three weeks, things start to get a bit tougher on the speedster, especially when future prom king Ronnie Raymond starts to mingle in things Barry didn’t previously consider his affairs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chances

**Author's Note:**

> In this first chapter, we get a general feeling of what life is like for Barry in this alternate universe.  
> I always appreciate your thoughts on my work!! Come and cry with me on my tumblr, an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com .

When the news broke to him, Barry was sitting at a table next to the school’s basketball court, speed-reading through his pre-calculus homework. His AP physics books were stacked next to him on the bench and papers fluttered in between them and under his elbow. Notes from class, exercises to explain how to find the domains of two functions and a diagram of the central nervous system were drawn over the several sheets, little arrows pointing here and there with even smaller scribbles written underneath. Nothing could tear his attention away from the paragraph explaining how to draw up graphs but the small-ish Latino kid with the shoulder-length straight black hair and a _I’m Aware_ t-shirt dropping his butt down loudly on the metal grid bench. It made him jump up a little, actually.

“Guess _one of us_ is finally getting what he wished for!” The boy exclaimed, throwing his book bag behind him on the table and spreading his legs out before him. He pulled a lollipop from the pocket of his zip-up and placed it on the inside of his cheek like was his usual habit. Barry dropped his face in his hands trying to get his breathing back to an even pace. He rubbed his eyes, a sting radiating through them as  lit up on the back of his eyelids. How long had he been staring at that?

“Hey, Cisco” came muffled through his hands, “what’s up?” Barry crossed his arms on top of his notes and dropped his head on them. Cisco turned towards him, drawing a quarter circle in the air with his leg as he lifted it over the bench and raising his arms above his black strands momentarily. _Excited as always_ , the voice inside Barry’s head remarked, and a smile made his lips curl upwards toward his eyes.

“Barry, how can you sit here so calmly? Why aren’t you snatching up Iris?” Cisco asked, his eyes wide and hands moving between them in uncontrolled motions. Barry’s eyebrows drew together and the smile turned into a thin streak of bunched up skin.

“Because she’s probably off somewhere with Eddie? She said they were meeting up after class and she would give him a ride home. Which reminds me, can you give me a lift?” The boy replied, lifting up his head and focusing the question marks in his eyes on his friend.

Barry and Cisco’s friendship had started sophomore year when they found themselves sitting side by side in their physics class with Mr Klein. Their passion for science parted ways in how Barry became more interested in the natural side of science, advancing to AP biology, chemistry and physics classes while Cisco kept his interest mainly in the physics and engineering part of the curriculum. Wood shop, computer lab, industrial technology and the engineering after-school club were his forte. But that year spent next to each other had forged a close bond, and you could say they had become the closest of friends. They had spent more summer afternoons building tiny explosives on digitally steered soapbox cars than they could remember. Cisco knew about how Barry’s mother was killed in a freak accident and how his father had gone to jail for it. That that was the reason he was living with Iris West, the school’s homecoming queen and general social butterfly of the yearbook club. He also knew that Barry had had a crush on her since kindergarten, and that it killed him to see her with Eddie Thawne, the track-team pretty boy who transferred their sophomore year from Keystone City High and had started dating Iris within a month of his arrival. The teachers loved him, he was the star of the track-team and though Joe, Iris’s father shared Barry’s concern in exactly how much time he was spending with his daughter up in her room –doors closed or not-, he was a genuinely nice guy.

Being kind of a nerdy student, Barry didn’t catch much attention from the other kids at Central City High School anymore, the initial awkwardness from his teachers about him being the son of a beloved-doctor-turned-brutal-killer, and though Iris still hung out with him, her best friend, a lot and attracted enough attention for both of them, his social life was very quiet. Sometimes, a few jocks would still mock him spending his lunch break or study halls _actually studying or doing homework_ , but Eddie had stood up for him a couple of times. He would still sometimes break free from his track-pack walking by and have a chat with Barry. They usually talked about Iris, and Barry hated to admit this, but Eddie seemed to be a good guy. The only one who could rival his popularity, niceness, looks and attitude was Ronnie Raymond, the son of CEO Edward Raymond of the Central City Gazette. Which is why what happened next wasn’t anything Barry would have ever expected to hear.

“Dude, how can you not know yet? Practically the whole school does! I bet Iris is going to walk up within the next minute and tell you her-“

“Barry!” As if Cisco had precognitive abilities, the shout echoed over the nearly empty courtyard to their table, causing both to turn their heads. From the other end of the basketball field, a tall, slender but strong-built, beautiful young woman walked up to them. Her long black hair, straight as a ruler today, fell past her shoulders and part of it rested on the binder clutched between her arm and chest. The polka-dotted white blouse she wore was tucked neatly into her navy-coloured high waisted, knee-length skirt, a brown one inch belt perfectly harmonizing with her coffee-bean skin tone and contrasting the white and navy of her clothes. The barely enforced heels of her white ballerinas made a stomping sound as she put her weight into every step towards the boys. With a heavy thud, she banged her binder, and after that her bag, unto the table next to Barry’s open pre-calc book, causing the pages to flutter about.

 _I guess studying is over_ , Barry’s inner voice said, and his mouth fell slightly open to mimic the shape of his wide eyes following Iris’s hands bracing her waist. Her lips pressed together in a thin line and her eyes, oh her eyes were pin-point beads of chocolate brown mixed with fury red right now. Her nostrils were flared, and Barry was quick to close all books and spread them over loose sheets of paper to keep them from flying away.

“Don’t _ever_ talk to that bastard again, do you hear me?” Iris cried, bending down slightly to be more at eye-level with her friend. Her chest heaved up and down, and if Barry had been any closer to it, he probably would have heard her heart beat in a velocity close to his own. She poked her finger towards his nose before letting herself drop down on the bench. Her arms flew into the air and Barry scooted a little closer to Cisco, the energy the young woman radiated being a bit too overwhelming even for him.

“What happened?” he was afraid to ask, but knew there was no way around it. He gripped the underside of the table, bracing himself for an earful. “I’ll tell you what happened!” Iris exclaimed, jumping up again and sitting herself down to face the cowered up boys. “He’s a _jerk_!

Last night he asked me to meet him after school, so I did, thinking he would _finally_ ask me to the homecoming dance in three weeks. You know, it’s not like I don’t have to buy a dress or make an appointment to do my hair or anything – A girl needs some notice! So I go to his locker after Spanish class, thinking I’ll give him the chance to ask me then because Dana set up a yearbook meeting for after school. There I am, leaning on the locker next to his, waiting for him to finally ask and you know what he said, Barry?” She stared at her best friend, his brown eyes opened wide and the corners of his mouth turned way down. He shook his head slightly and said, not a worry in his voice “no idea”. The girl slammed her open hand on the table.

“He said he _can’t_ see me anymore for a while, because his coach told him I was a distraction. _A distraction_ , Barry. _Me!_ Can you believe it?!” She flicked her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Barry’s mouth fell into an _o_ shape and his eyebrows seemed to want to crawl into the hairline of his luscious brown poof. “Whaaaat?” he unnecessarily elongated to show his surprise. Though of course a preposterous claim because their being together hadn’t impacted Eddie’s ability to break the state record for competition track time last semester, Barry was a bit joyful at the thought of Iris not being with him anymore. Maybe she would consider seeing _him_ in a different light now? If he played his cards right?

“Yeah, I know right? Ridiculous. I told him so, I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t budge at all!” Iris shook her head and balled both hands into fists. “But you know what? I don’t care. I don’t care about what his coach says. If he thinks we can’t be together because it will get in the way of his oh-so-important High School track-career, fine! I’m not gonna stand in his way! See if I care!” Her hands shot into the air and waved around. Barry imagined the three witches in Macbeth doing similar gestures when Macbeth entered their cave in the second act. Immediately he scratched the back of his head wondering why he could even remember that part of the play. Shakespeare was definitely not one of his preferred authors.

“But I am _going_ to this stupid homecoming and I will _show him_. _Every day_ from now on I will show him just what he missing out on and what a fool he was to break up with me. He will be miserable, and he’ll come crawling back to me, and then we’ll see who’s right here!” With that, Iris pushed herself up into a stand, shouldered her purse and clutched her binder against her chest. She exhaled sharply and turned to look at Barry.

“Now, are you coming home with me, or are you staying?” She asked, the anger still slightly visible on her face, staring down at Barry. The boy shot into motion, clumsily assembling all his papers together and stacking his books on top of each other. Cisco still sat, a bit shocked from the scene that just played out in front of him, at the table, his eyes moving slowly away from Iris’s gorgeous face to Barry being all thumbs in collecting his things.

“Yeah, yes, I’m coming with you, give me a sec. Cisco, I’ll talk to you later?” Barry called out to his friend as he almost fell over the bench he was trying to step across, wrestling with the books and sheets of paper in his arms. Iris grabbed his backpack and walked ahead of him in the direction of the parking lot with it. Cisco simply nodded, his mouth still open from amazement at Iris, not being able to close it until both Barry and her were in their car and the engine started loudly.


	2. Frames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my original note for this chapter was "kill me. kill me now"  
> I don't remember why, but it seems only appropriate to share it with you on here as well

“Okay man, tell me  _again_  why you still take the bus to school when you can’t catch a ride with Iris?” Cisco was walking down the hallway next to Barry, both conveniently on their way to first period AP math. Pre-calculus class with Mr Thawne (some distant relation to Eddie that no one exactly knows how to explain) to be exact, always a laugh. Barry ducked his head, checking his left and right and raising his voice slightly. “Because I need to get to school somehow?” And sliding a little closer to Cisco and lowering his voice to a deep whisper added, “Because I can’t exactly  _flash_ here and risk someone seeing me, can I? Plus, I need to keep up appearances, and if I don’t arrive here with a car, Iris, the bus or without Joe dropping me off in his very noticeable police car, people will start to wonder.” He lengthened his spine again, a hand ruffling through the hair on the back of his head and again looking around the two of them, searching for a sign that someone had overheard them. He was still getting used to all this, but in that instant he imagined he’d never stop fearing someone would find out the truth about him.

Cisco knew about the abilities the freaky black-out three months ago during the odd storm unleashed within Barry. That evening, during a heavy rain and thunder storm, the two of them had come up with the idea of trying to ‘capture’ a lightning bolt in a lead-lined bottle to create an image of the electricity inside it. They could create a 3D-model of it and wow everyone at the next science fair, winning first prize. Last year it was a trip to the Central City S.T.A.R. Labs with a personal tour by one of the higher ups working there, Hartley Rathaway, a direct underling of the promising Doctor Harrison Wells. This year, it might be an interview with the amazing Dr Wells himself. What they  _hadn’t_ counted on though, was for the lightning bolt to hit so soon. And instead of discharging into the bottle they had rigged with an iron rod, it hit  _Barry_. Remembering his first aid training and everything he had read up on before going out that night, Cisco couldn’t find an exit wound of the lightning and just as he was about to give up on his friend, with no working signal to call an ambulance and knowing that his slightly overweight body wouldn’t make it to the nearest house in time either, Barry had awoken from his unconsciousness feeling  _odd_. His entire body tingled, his thoughts were racing and his heartbeat was frantic. After a minute of getting used to being awake again, Barry had noticed how  _slow_  Cisco was talking and moving, and another hour later, they had both discovered that the lightning bolt had enabled Barry to move, think and speak at superhuman speed. And the next night they managed to catch the image of the lightning bolt in the bottle, inevitably securing them first prize at the science fair two months from now.

“Still doesn’t seem like a good-enough reason to not flash to school once or twice in your life, Bar. You gotta enjoy what you can do before it can be used against you, if you ask me” Cisco said, shrugging his shoulders and raising his hands like he was pleading something obvious to the world. Barry just laughed. At the classroom, Cisco walked over the threshold before his companion and made a beeline for his assigned seat. It took Barry a moment longer to make his way to his, because looking into the room, his eyes found Caitlin.

Caitlin Snow was still relatively new at school. She had transferred here at the beginning of the new school year from Starling City because of her father’s work. Caitlin had flown under the radar for the most part, but only because the science-part of the High School was generally less vocal about, well,  _anything_  than the sports- and arts-related fields was. She was also in her senior year like Barry, Cisco and Iris, and had joined the boys in most of their AP classes. Cisco had had the pleasure of sitting next to her in physics and biology, his last name  _Ramón_  being the one before hers on the class registers. And though they both took the same AP biology physics, maths and chemistry classes, Barry was only teamed up with her in chem lab. Cisco, being of the joking nature he is, had befriended Caitlin very quickly. But Caitlin had had no problems making friends outside of class. Most breaks, they had seen her surrounded by a small group of other pretty girls, chatting and laughing. Oh yes, Caitlin was definitely pretty. She had long brown hair that fell in loose curls midway her upper arms and a smile that was contagious. Her dark brown eyes gained light from it, and there wasn’t a straight boy in pre-calc that didn’t look at her when she entered or departed from the room.

She saw Barry lingering in the doorframe as she made her way back to her seat and threw him one of her smiles. “Hi Barry,” she greeted him as per usual. He took it as a signal to get moving again and made his way next to Cisco, returning a chipper “hey” in the girl’s direction. As soon as his book hit the table, the teacher began his class, and the beautiful shape and distributions of an exponential function filled his mind.

In fact, Barry didn’t seem to think about anyone other than Cisco, who kept mumbling jokes out of the side of his mouth during class, until 4th period when Barry had to run to his locker to switch his copy of  _Brave New World_  for the history text book. Next to his locker, he found Iris. Her hair was still straight like yesterday, but the dark red dress she wore with the black boots that went up to her knees made it look different somehow, more daring. A smile spread across her face when she saw Barry approaching her and his locker.

“Hey you,” she greeted him with the voice she reserved especially for when she needed something from him. Barry, though a bit flustered by her appearance and presence at his locker, noticed that. “Hey Iris. Anything I can do for you?” he asked, quickly turning the wheel of his lock and opening the little metal door. He all but threw his copy of Huxley’s masterpiece inside and gripped his textbook. Iris turned to him, her frame still leaning against the lockers and a pout piercing through to Barry.

“I have a problem.” She said, and her voice became tainted with frustration and anger. “Eddie won’t go to the homecoming dance with me, but I don’t know who to convince to ask me that isn’t annoying to spend an entire evening next to. And I don’t want to get any boy’s hopes up, I mean, there are enough guys who would want to ask me, but none of them would fare well with a ‘Okay, this was great, thanks, bye’ at the end of it, you know?” She looked at him with puppy eyes. “Baaaarryyy?” she elongated, trying hard to sound cute. The boy let out a sigh, half afraid and half excited to hear what he knew would come next. “Yes?” he simply replied, eyebrows raised and inquisitive eyes focusing on his best friend. “Will you be my date for the homecoming dance?” She flashed her incredibly white teeth at him and bashed her eyelids for him a couple of times. Barry was reluctant to answer. He wanted to go with her to the dance,  _he really did_ , but not as the decoration on her arm to stand up to Eddie. When he probably wouldn’t even  _be there_ , because why would he be? He probably had some running-practice or something. The voice inside Barry’s head told him not to accept Iris’ invitation, fearing he would only hope for her view of him to change and see him for the loving, adoring boy he was instead of the brother-type he seemed. But his heart yearned for at least one evening of happiness where he could at least fool himself, if not her, that she was interested in his company for more than familiar reasons and that he could actually stand a chance with her.

Iris closed her mouth again, slightly bouncing up and down like an impatient child waiting for an ice cream cone. She didn’t want to ask again, and Barry certainly didn’t want her to repeat her request either. He sighed and dropped his head. “Yes, I’ll go to the dance with you” he heard himself say out loud.  _You win, heart_ , the little voice in his head whispered. Iris rammed into him for a hug, squealing, just as the bell rang to save them from further awkwardness Barry would certainly create had he been given the chance. “Great, thank you! I gotta go to class, but we’ll talk details on our way home, ok? Later!” She gushed out while walking away, and Barry was left with being late for class and getting a strict warning from his teacher.

He should have been happy that he was taking Iris to the school dance because that was all he had wanted to do since they had gone to Junior High together. But there was a tug in the bottom of his stomach that made it unable for him to keep the idea out of his head. He was frustrated with his own pickiness about the situation, how he kept going back to how Iris wouldn’t have asked him if she had known anyone else to go with her and how she practically told him she needed a date with ‘no strings attached’. His inability to focus on the fact that he  _was_ taking her out and that that tipped the odds of making Iris look at him differently in his favour, threw him off his game, and he spent the rest of his history class debating thoughts in his head that had nothing to do with the Boston Tea Party or how the colonials still wore Native American clothing to make sure they wouldn’t receive the punishment for their actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I appreciate any kind of feedback!!  
> Come cry with me on my tumblr page, an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com


	3. The Worst

It was only in the next period, chem lab that Barry would snap out of his vicious cycle of thoughts, when Caitlin silently slid into her assigned seat next to his. “What’s gotten your head up in a twist?” she asked him with a frown on her forehead, biting down on the corner of her lower lip. The boy jumped a little at the close proximity of her voice. “Why do people keep doing that to me?” he asked himself more than her, resting his head in his palms for a second before blinking at Caitlin and shaking the thought out of his head.

“It’s nothing really. Just stupid stuff” He straightened himself up and allowed his eyes to linger on her face for a second longer. She had already turned her gaze towards the pile of notes in front of her and started to arrange them. Concentration filled her eyes and cheeks, but Barry noticed that she was still biting down the corner of her lip. She never did that unless something occupied her mind and nagged at her. Like when she couldn’t get the Caesium to turn the flame of the Bunsen burner blue and the teacher was standing right behind the two of them.

“What’s bothering _you_?” Barry asked her, him donning the frown this time. Caitlin’s forehead smoothed out like on command and the skin around where her teeth sunk into the outskirts of her pink lips turned a bit more white. “Nothing,” she replied in a light voice, obviously fooling no one.

“You’re biting the corner of your mouth. You only do that when you’re concerned with something. You’re not fooling me, Doctor Snow.” He bumped a fist lightly against the girls’ shoulder, swaying his upper body in her direction, and looked up at her through his eyelashes to see a smile replace the skewed pink lips. “I’m not a doctor, Barry.” Her gaze softened noticeably when she cocked her head in his direction. Barry non-chalantly straightened himself up and turned in his seat so his shoulders were squared in her direction. “Not yet, give it time” he merely stated, before raising his eyebrows at her again. One last time Caitlin pressed her upper front teeth into her lower lip, then she lengthened her spine with a little jump and came to face Barry full-on. “Ronnie Raymond asked me to the homecoming dance today” she cried a little louder than she had wanted to and immediately looked around them to catch one or two shocked looks from other girls in the class. Barry gave her an expression of surprise himself as his jaw dropped several inches and his eyes grew twice their usual size.

“He..he _what_?” He said disbelievingly. Ronnie? Ronnie Raymond? One of the most popular boys in school? Whom she had never talked to before (as far as he knew, and in this moment he convinced himself he knew everyone who had ever talked to Caitlin)? Why did he even know she _existed?_ “How? _Why_?” was all he could get past his lips, his eyes dropping inch after inch and crossing from corner to corner in their sockets. If someone were to look up _perplexity_ in a dictionary, they were sure to find his exact face in there.

Caitlin sunk in on herself a little, her hands that had previously imitated an explosion next to her head coming to rest in her lap. “Well, I’m assuming because he wants to go with me” she stated, unable to keep her gaze from dropping to her hands and the corners of her mouth trying to join them. Barry still couldn’t look at her. His thoughts were spinning so fast he couldn’t even really make out what they were saying, and that was unusual by _all_ of his standards. All he could make out was that Ronnie had somehow gone up to Caitlin and asked her to go to the dance with him. Caitlin. With Ronnie. Why would Ronnie even know of Caitlin? Sure, she was pretty, but that alone wouldn’t do it, would it? She was in a completely different circle of friends, she took other classes than him, they had _nothing_ in common. He was a jock, an idiot who had more muscle power than brain power and he would never, _never_ see Caitlin for who she was and what she was capable of and he _didn’t deserve to go with her to the dance_. His football-playing body in all logic shouldn’t have gone near Caitlin, and the fact that it had, vexed Barry enormously. His head started to ache from the overflowing streaks of thoughts and pictures.

“But… _why_? Why would Ronnie want to go to the dance with _you_?” The second the particular pronunciation of that word left his lips, their eyes met and Barry regretted everything. It wasn’t so much the blood that flushed her cheeks and ears, it was the way her chin shot slightly forward and up. The manner in which the corners of her mouth seemed to pull in and downwards, and how her brows jerked towards her pupils before pulling together above her nose. It was the way she _didn’t_ draw in a sharp breath, but rather how it seemed to be barricaded though her nostrils grew minimally in diameter.

Barry averted his eyes, because he couldn’t bear to look into hers anymore and see what his words had done. That look in her eyes would probably haunt him that night, keeping him from sleep. _Oh god_ , he kept repeating to himself over and over again. _Oh god, oh god, oh god_.

“I didn’t mean it that way, that came out wrong. Caitlin, really, I’m sor-“

“If you’re all ready, I’d like to start the lesson now, please.” The teacher called from the front of the room, interrupting Barry’s attempts to grovel and Caitlin turned to face forward. Needless to say Barry didn’t focus a single moment on anything that happened in class. Lucky for all of them, this was a pure teaching hour, and neither Caitlin nor Barry were able to say a word to the other.


	4. Fall Out

When the teacher dismissed the class, Barry immediately turned to Caitlin. “Caitlin, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded, it’s not like _you_ -“

“Save it, Barry” she cut him off, packing her notes and books together and throwing her pencil in her bag. She didn’t even bother to put it back in her neatly arranged pencil case. She rose from her seat and made her way to the door, Barry frantically swiping his things off the table and into his backpack, creasing sheets of paper. He practically ran after her out the door, grunting excuses at the students he bumped into to get past them. In the hallway, he sped up still, shouting her name.

“Caitlin! Caitlin wait, let me explain” he tried to plead. Caitlin stopped and turned to him. She wasn’t crying, but it wasn’t anger either that made her face so pink. Barry came to a halt two feet away from her, disregarding personal space in his attempt to grovel. “Look, I didn’t mean that you weren’t fit for him to ask you to the dance. What I meant was that…well I don’t get why he would ask you at all! Like, he’s a jock who does sporty things and hangs out with all the popular pretty girls and isn’t into science or geeky things and I…I just can’t think of a reason why the most popular guy in school would even know about you.”

Caitlin looked up from his feet and now it was _definitely_ anger that flushed her face. “Why, because I’m a nerdy geek who couldn’t ever associate with the popular clique, and who isn’t pretty enough? Because I have no business with them, is that what you’re saying?” Barry held up his hands pacifyingly. “No, no that’s not what I meant, I mean you could _rule_ over those idiots any day, but-“

“But just not with Ronnie Raymond? Is that what you’re saying? Because he’s the king of this school and I’m just the geek who can _‘rule over the stupid ones_ ’?” When she raised her hands to sign the quotation marks, she may as well have slapped the boy across the face, for it held the same effect on him. The anger Caitlin held in her stare made him look over and around her head instead of at her. Barry didn’t dare to look her in the eye and catch the disapproval, rage, knowing he wouldn’t have anything sensible to say back. He was at a loss for words because really, _what was it he wanted to say_? His hands clawed at the back of his head for an answer, and the longer he searched for it, the less he knew what to respond with.

“No? _Yes_ ” he finally got past his lips, quietly, confused deep within his soul. “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t _know_ what I meant to say by all that, Caitlin. He just, he shouldn’t have asked you. He’s a stupid jock who plays the football team, takes like _one_ AP class and walks these halls like he’s royalty. All the kids swoon for him, strive to be with him or _be_ him. He could have asked _any girl he wanted_ , taken his pick but he had to ask _you_. And he shouldn’t have, he had no right asking you to the dance, it was not his place.” Hurt, was that the expression that crossed his face right now, filling his eyes and leaving that bitter taste in his mouth? He felt the corners of his mouth pull inwards, his lips parting slightly and the creases around his eyes making it hard for him to focus on anything but Caitlin.

Well, whatever it was, Caitlin showed it a threefold as bad. But, pressing her lips together and inhaling deeply, her eyes met Barry’s again. “Well, same could be said about you and Iris, Barry.”

“ _What_?” he staggered back from her, astonished. “I know she asked you to the dance after lunch and that you said yes.” Caitlin pushed the side of her jaw forward slightly, angling her head towards him. She clung on to the back of her chemistry book for support, trying to remain in control of her emotions by releasing pressure into it. “ _How_ ” Barry’s hands hovered over his head and clasped around the back of his neck.

“Isn’t she _also_ a popular, pretty person who’s in a different world from us? And yet she _still asked you_ to the dance, and that is _okay_ , but it’s not when I get asked by someone like _her_?” Her mouth disappeared as she sucked her lips in to press her teeth down on them, hard, to keep the tears that built inside her eyes from spilling over, breaking a dam. “How do you know about that?” Barry finally gushed out on an exhale, barely louder than the breath itself. The knot in his stomach unwound and he felt like all his blood was rushing there to clot the wound that had opened. _Shit_ , he heard his inner voice curse. _Shit, shit, SHIT_.

Caitlin bit her lip again, looking down. Her loose brown curls fell to the side of her face, framing it. “Word travels fast when the future prom queen gets shot down by the future prom _king_ , and turns to her foster-brother for help.” And with that she turned and walked to the parking lot. Barry exhaled sharply, bending over and resting his hands on his knees. _What_ had just happened? He felt like someone had taken a knife to his lungs and stomach, and he was heaving more than after a 2-mile run in gym class. Before his days as the _flashing_ speedster, of course. Why did he hurt so bad? Why did Ronnie bother him so much? _How_ had he gotten into a fight with Caitlin, and _for the love of god how_ had he managed to insinuate _three times_ that Caitlin wasn’t worthy of Ronnie’s attention when it was _Ronnie_ who didn’t deserve Catilin’s?

And to his discomfort, when he looked back up again to the parking lot door where he had seen Caitlin’s back disappearing, Iris occupied its open space. Her lips were pulled taught over her chin and a scowl graced them, leaving her guilt on display. She had heard everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone says a bad word about Iris, I'm smacking you. She's good people.  
> Feel free to leave a comment or stuff, or come cry with me on my tumblr, an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com


	5. Flickers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the longer chapters the most. Stay with me during the angst and anger, people, it's worth it!

“I cannot believe you would do this to me” Barry said, not even bothering to look back at whom he was directing his anger at walking behind him. “I’m _sorry_ , Barry, but what did you expect me to do?” Iris practically ran after him to keep up with his pace. He had walked right past her, ignoring calling out to him, and shooting her an angry glance on his way out of the school building. “Not that. _Definitely_ not that.” Was all he shot back, his backpack heavy on his shoulders, but his mind half made-up to simply _flash_ home right then and there. “Well, shoot me for wanting to go to the school dance with my best friend instead of some random guy, and _actually_ having a fun evening for a change!” Barry stopped dead in his tracks, making Iris bump against him and dropping a sheet of collective notes on Shakespeare’s _The Merchant of Venice_.

“You went to _Ronnie_ first. And asked me as a last resort. Your last _option_. I thought I meant more to you than that, Iris.” He didn’t know why he was still walking towards the car, because he had no intention of getting in it, but he kept walking all the same just to get away. Iris got back up and pursued him. “You _do_ mean more to me than that, Barry, of _course_ you do. You _know_ that! That’s why I asked you instead of Mike Fischer who kept dropping hints all of PE. You weren’t my _last_ option, you were my _best_ option, because at the end of the day, I’d much rather go to the dance with you than with anyone else.” She stopped walking and dropped her arms to the side. They had arrived at the car and out of habit, Barry had circled around it to the passenger door, barely stopping himself from opening it.

“Sure,” he replied, the expression on his face hard as stone, “ _after_ Eddie Thawne and Ronnie Raymond.” And he turned his back to Iris and walked off the parking lot.

“Where are you going? At least let me give you a ride home!” She called after him, her arms swinging by her sides in frustration. “I’d rather walk!” Barry shouted back, his eyes fixed on the distance in front of him. He couldn’t decide who he was angrier with – Iris or _himself_.

When he unlocked the front door and walked across the threshold of the West house three hours later, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. All he knew was that he hoped Iris wouldn’t be sitting on the living room couch.

He got lucky. He didn’t see anyone until he walked across the entrance hall into the kitchen. Joe was standing at the stove, lifting the lid off a big pot and stirring in it with a wooden spoon. Cut-up vegetables were spread across different surfaces of the kitchen counters and the smell of garlic and parsley reached Barry’s nasal passages. He dropped himself on one of the bar stools and rested his head on his outstretched arms.

“What took you so long?” Joe asked without looking at the boy, stirring the minced meat that was browning nicely. Barry sighed deeply and lifted his head without leaving the comfort of his arms. “I didn’t want to ignite my backpack and the books in it, so I had to actually _walk_.” Joe chuckled and finally turned to look at the mess that made up his foster son at the moment.

Oh yes, he _knew_. He knew Barry had gained super speed over the summer. He was actually the one who advised Barry not to go to the hospital for it, fearing what they may do to his little boy in the process of finding a cause for this. Or a cure. “Even so, the school’s less than an hour away by foot, Bar. Central City isn’t that big of a city, you know.” He scrutinized the boy, his eyes wandering over every inch of him. He could have just as well stopped at his chin – the thoughts that were running through his mind were obvious on his face.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked, using his best dad-voice. Barry closed his eyes in frustration, another exhale leaving his mouth with a loud noise. “ _I wouldn’t even know what to say_.”

“Let’s start with how you feel about Iris, and what she did.” The detective pulled up another bar stool and sat down across from Barry at the kitchen island. He _also_ knew about the crush Barry had had on Iris since he moved in, and had pretended to be oblivious to all these years. Barry sat up, shrugging his shoulders a little and staring at Joe.

“So she told you?” he asked him, and the man nodded his head slowly. “She made quite a mess with her actions. What do you have to say about it?” Joe asked. “I don’t know,” Barry replied. “I don’t _know_ how to feel about that. She used me, Joe, she _used_ me. She never saw anything more than her geeky live-in best friend who would probably dofor a school dance to get back at Eddie for breaking up with her. I’ll never be anything more than that to her. And now, I…” he trailed off, looking for the right words to say even though he was unsure of what it was his thoughts kept circling around all day.

“And now you what?” Joe encouraged him, faintly anticipating what was about to come. Barry’s eyes went out of focus on the broccoli stem that hadn’t been thrown out yet and was getting soft on the kitchen counter.

“And now I can’t even ask someone else to go with me instead, because the most popular guy in school has already asked her.” Barry swung back on his stool, gripping the edge of the counter for support. “Now I know where I stand, and _will_ always stand with Iris, and I let someone else get away because of it.” His mouth had finally uttered the words he had been chasing in his mind all day. It wasn’t so much Iris asking him to the dance because none of her preferred beaus wanted to go with her that vexed him. It was the fact that because of her asking him, _and him accepting_ , that he had lost the chance to ask Caitlin to go with him.

 “Ah. So that’s what’s bugging you.” Joe folded his hands together, an expression crossing his face that was reserved for fathers who bested their children in the way of love. “You think that because Iris asked you to the dance, you lost your chance with this other girl you like?” he asked.

Barry’s eyes sparkled in the ray of sunshine that came in through the backyard window, a hint of salty fluid accumulating in both of them. His blue eyes turned to his foster-dad.

“It’s _Ronnie Raymond_ , Joe. How can I compete with someone like that?” The feet of his bar stool met with the kitchen tiles, and as did the rest of Barry’s self-esteem. Joe raised the palms of his hands and his eyebrows drew into his eyes. “What are you talking about, Barry?

You are a smart, funny, clever boy. You’re handsome, and compassionate, and just because your father isn’t the owner of the best-selling newspaper in Central City, or because you rather spend your free time working out how the world fits together instead of _working out_ , that doesn’t make you any less amazing than Ronnie Raymond. And I’m sure this girl feels the same, once she gets to know you. Who is she?”

“We have a few science classes together. We’re lab partners in chemistry” Barry answered tentatively, the blood still visible in his cheeks from Joe’s words.

“Ah,” the man replied, “Caitlin.” Barry’s eyebrows seemed to creep into his hairline and his wide eyes darted up to meet Joe’s. He just chuckled. “Oh yes, you’ve told me about her. Nice girl. She seems to enjoy the same things you do?”

Barry nodded.

“So what if she lets Ronnie Raymond take her to the dance? It’s just a dance, Bar. I mean, look at Iris – she likes Eddie, but she wants to go with you. She _asked_ you. Caitlin just may not want anything more to do with Ronnie after the dance. Who knows why she even said yes to him in the first place. Or did you ask her?”

“Actually…” Barry’s eyes darted from side to side, something dawning on him right then. What if Caitlin hadn’t actually accepted Ronnie’s invitation yet? Come to think of it, she never actually said she had, she just said he’d asked her. And knowing Caitlin, she wouldn’t accept right then and there, she would probably mull it over a little before replying. With _anyone_. What if he still had a chance?

“Maybe not,” Barry’s voice filled with hope again, and he jumped up. Joe merged his eyebrows into his eyelashes again, the corners of his mouth turning down.

“How can you not know if you asked a girl why she agreed to go with someone to the dance?” Barry wasn’t listening. His thoughts gained velocity again, a plan hatching in his mind. He had to see her. _As soon as possible_.

“Is it okay if I go out for a little while?” Joe pulled up his nose and squinted at him. “Dinner will be ready in five minutes!” he said in disbelieve. “Joe, this is _really_ important.” Barry pleaded with him, leaning across the counter. “Well whatever it is, you have just spent 2 hours walking across town after spending 8 hours in school. You need to eat something first, _especially_ if you’re just going to _flash_ over there like I know you will. I don’t think I need to remind you of what happened last time you lost control over your speed after not eating for 4 hours. It’ll do you no good to lie in this girl’s front yard if you can’t ask her to go to the dance with you, come on.” And with that he ushered Barry to the stove.

“And by the way”, he added as he let go of the boy’s shoulders and took a step back, “you _may_ want to consider taking a shower first before going over to that girl’s house. You can argue all about pheromones-and-what-not in sweat being attractive, but I have _never_ heard of a guy who showed up to a young girl’s house after walking for three hours on a hot day, and come back with a _date_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is my favourite.  
> advice/comments/annoyance? tell me!  
> Or cry with me on my tumblr, an-effed-up-mess


	6. The Blow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is my favourite. It's setting is what inspired the AU in the first place, it's the first chapter I wrote, and guessing by my notes on tumblr, it's the best of 'em all.  
> Bittersweet sorrow I guess

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Barry reached down again to pick up a new handful of pebbles from the driveway. He straightened up again and swung back his throwing arm, rolling one of the little stones between his thumb and forefinger. _Tap_. It hit the big window again, just like the other 20 or so he had already thrown up there. If he had had any space on his working memory left to consider it, he would have been very proud of his throwing by now. If ever his P.E. teacher Mr Lebowitz teased him again about his inadequacy at hitting a target five feet away, he’d refer him to this situation. The pebbles hit the window on the first floor just fine. Every single one of them seemed to hit the glass within a one-foot radius. If he kept throwing pebbles that might not be such a good thing, come to think of it.

 _Tap_. That must have been the fortieth time he hit that window by now. With every swing of his arm, Barry grew more desperate. _Come on_ , his inner voice kept repeating, the corners of his mouth sinking deeper and deeper towards his chin. _You have to open the window_. He could see the light shining through the double frames. She _had_ to be there. What if she was wearing headphones? Or maybe she had gone downstairs for something to drink? Was it dinnertime?

Barry checked his watch in between throws. No, it was quarter to 10. Barry had to wait for another hour after his conversation with Joe just to be let off to take a shower. And even flashing to Caitlin’s house had proved a challenge because he first had to talk Cisco into giving him her address. By now, the Snow family had surely had dinner already. _Where could she be?_

Just as he swung back his arm to throw another pebble, he saw a shadow flicker over the beam of light that illuminated the room through the window, and all of a sudden a figure stood by it, looking down upon him. Long hair fell over her shoulder in waves, and she half brushed it back from her face with an absent-minded hand. Her slender arms bent down to the rail and shoved it upwards. She stuck her head underneath it, and the faint wind blew her wavy brown hair off a bit. Barry gulped, blood rushing to his cheeks, his heartbeat picking up speed yet again. While adrenaline had made it go faster for the past 30 minutes, the butterflies in his stomach switched the gear higher yet. He was praying for the moon to stay away right now. Having its light shine naturally on her face instead of the faint beams of a street lantern two houses down would have inevitably left him unable to speak _again_.

“Barry? What are you doing here?” she called out from up there. All she needed was a balcony, and he would have gladly played his part as Romeo seeking out Juliette. Barry caught himself trying to bury his hands in his pockets, but the pebbles he clung on to so anxiously made it impossible to fit them in. He emptied his fists but managed to keep them next to him instead of hidden away. Looking up, he could see her face clearly even in the dim light. Her eyebrows were drawn together suspiciously, her lips set in a taut line. Her nostrils flared a little, the way they usually did when he was taking the lead on the experiment they were supposed to do – and kind of trying to play with the ingredient list instead of using the ones written down.

But right now he had to say something, his heart was beating with a force that he had only previously experienced after running 10 miles in P.E., or when he had first discovered his powers. Not even when he _flashed_ had his heartbeat gone on with a velocity like this. Or at least, he hadn’t _noticed_ it before, especially not in his throat. The boy’s gaze kept dropping down to the grass at his feet and then darting back up to her eyes, her incredibly brown eyes that scrutinized his uncertainty. A sigh escaped both their mouths simultaneously, but only Barry was taken aback by it.

“This is ridiculous.” She shook her head, eyebrows uncrunching and lips pursing together to one side. “Send me a text when you actually have something to say, okay?” and she ducked her head back inside, one hand grasping the rail to pull it down again.

“No Caitlin, wait!” Barry managed to get out, his hand stretching towards the window as if it could make her pop her head back out again. Caitlin heard him and indeed pushed her head back into the faint gust of air that was so typical for mid-spring in Central City. Was Barry imagining it, or did the wind actually carry the scent of her shampoo over to him? _Focus_ , his inner voice tried to snap him back to the actual present, _you had something to tell her_. Barry shook the scent out of his head and took a step closer to the house. Caitlin had placed both her hands on the outside of her window sill and leaned on them. Her entire upper body seemed to be on the outside of her window right now, but she didn’t seem in any danger of falling out at all. Her eyebrows were raised in an inquisitive manner, but her lips were again in that same small line as when she first laid eyes on him that evening.

“I…” Barry started, ruffling the back of his head as if it would help him unscramble the entangled words in the back of his mind. Why couldn’t he come out and say it now? There was a lump building up in his throat and all of the words in his head suddenly seemed to be in another language that he never took. All he could find was blankness, an empty hole that was filled with the sound of his beating heart.

“Still waiting, Barry” Caitlin called from above him, her brows slowly dropping down to their usual height and a sad expression filling her eyes. Barry felt the disappointment radiating off her, and it in turn made him want to pull his hair out instead of ruffling it out. “ _Argh_ ” he cried out through gritted teeth, gripping on to the hair that fell around his hand. His hands fell into fists to the side of his torso and he turned his entire body around, pacing up and down below Caitlin’s window. She cocked her head to the side, surprised by the sight but also more eager to see this play out.

“I’m _sorry_ , Caitlin. _That’s_ why I’m here. I’m sorry I was such a jerk today, I’m sorry I said those things about Ronnie, I shouldn’t have. You two would be great together, I’m sure he’s actually really nice underneath that football-playing jock exterior. I hear he’s doing well in wood shop.” Barry nearly punched the inside of his pocket then, ramming his fist in it. His eyes never left Caitlin’s face, but her expression slipped away as she ducked his gaze and looked down.

“Point is, it wasn’t my place to say anything about him, and you, and him asking you out, so I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. That was really the _last_ thing I wanted to accomplish with that.” Caitlin connected back with Barry’s eyes. Her lips had relaxed from the line they were in, the corners turned down ever so slightly. Her eyes pierced through the boy like a sword, asking him a question she didn’t even speak out loud.

“I…Look, the reason I said those things, is because…because I don’t want you to go, okay? Not with him.” Barry looked down and put his other hand into his pocket. _Go with me_ , he was pleading with her in his head, _not with Ronnie_.

“Barry, I-“ Caitlin’s voice had dropped low, and Barry looked up to see that not only her voice but also her face had dropped. She was looking down at her fingers, her hands folded together in front of her stomach, fingers fumbling nervously. If she were to turn him down now, if she would say she was going to the Prom with Ronnie, if she would say she had already said yes, he would lose. He would lose her for sure, and there would be nothing left to do but to see Ronnie whisk her off her feet and away from Barry, no doubt. His guts clenched together, his legs wanted to run away, to not hear what would happen next, to not hear the defeat.

“Caitlin, _please_ don’t accept Ronnie’s invitation to the prom. It’s not who you are, he didn’t do anything to deserve to go with you.” Barry tried again, sure that that last sentence would make his point and ring true to her.

But Caitlin froze with those last words. She untangled her hands and thrust her chin up in the air. The corners of her mouth seemed to retreat into her skin as her jaw moved to one side of her face and she squinted through her eyes at Barry. Her chest heaved up more definite and obvious than before, and her tone was in between tears and anger.

“Well at least he got up the courage to _ask me_ , Barry. That alone makes him deserving of my company, _I think_. And you’re too late anyways: I already said _yes_ to him.

Go home, Barry. Ask Iris what colour her dress will be so you can order a corsage to go with it.” And with that, she swung her upper body back inside her bedroom and pushed the rail of her window down firmly. After locking it, she drew the curtains without so much as another glance at Barry. Better so, because his head had dropped in defeat. He broke out into a flash a second later and ran to the aerial training grounds he and Cisco had previously tested his powers out on. For all the super speed his thoughts could muster, he couldn’t conjure up a single thought about how he was going to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cry with me. an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com, or in the comments


	7. Aerial Grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can he come back from this fuck up? Cisco is there to offer some moral and comic support/relieve

“So I’m guessing things didn’t go so well with Caitlin?” Barry swirled around, surprised by the voice that came from the darkness behind him. How could someone have followed him to the aerial grounds when he _flashed_ there? Even if they saw the streak of yellow and red lighting he left behind, they wouldn’t be able to be there with him the second he arrived.

At first he couldn’t make out who it was standing in the shadows of the trailer that was moved there a couple of weeks ago, but he heard some grunting noises and soon a figure emerged from the dark. It was Cisco.

“No. No it really didn’t” Barry replied, his head hanging down and his hands caressing his neck again. The sigh that escaped his lips filled the night air, and Cisco tried to pat away the anguish that came with it as he stood by his friend. “She’ll come around. She’s your friend!”

Barry wasn’t so convinced. “I’ve been an idiot. A _fool_. How could I not have seen this?” Cisco walked past him, raising his arms as if to embrace the world. “Come on, it’s not that bad. So you kind of told her she wasn’t worthy to be Ronnie Raymond’s date to the dance. It won’t be the last time she’ll hear that, there’s still 3 weeks to go, and word travels fast in our school. And eventually she’ll realize you meant it the other way around. Ronnie’s cool though, we talk in wood shop sometimes, he’s actually quite decent. You know, he told me this really funny joke one time, it was hilarious, so-”

“Cisco, I _like_ Caitlin. Like, really _like_.” Barry glanced over his shoulder to catch Cisco’s reaction. He had told Cisco only the necessary parts of his fight with Caitlin, that he said some things he didn’t mean and needed to apologize. He hadn’t clued his friend in on his newest epiphany sponsored by Joe. Cisco let his arms fall back to his side and turned his head to look at his friend. His forehead had wrinkled into a frown, his eyes evaluating his buddy’s face and his lips set in a thin line. He was scrutinizing Barry’s sincerity on the subject.

“I thought you were crushing on Iris?”

“So did I. Turns out I like Caitlin more.”

Cisco nodded, his mind occupied with thinking and weighing ideas against each other. “So, you’re saying you _like_ Caitlin, and that’s why your word mumbo-jumbo came out and got you in trouble with her this afternoon?” Barry lowered his head, signalling an affirmative answer. “And the reason you told Caitlin that Ronnie shouldn’t have asked her to the dance is because you don’t want Ronnie to take away your chance of swooning Caitlin?” Barry raised his head again, his eyebrows scrunching together and his upper lip raised. A big _‘how do you know that?_ ’ appeared on his forehead. Cisco chuckled. “I’m good friends with Caitlin, she tells me things” he simply stated.

“This is crazy. How could I not have known about Caitlin until it was too late? And what am I supposed to do now?” Barry’s frustration bit at every word he said, and he stared at the distant lights that made up the Central City skyline. If only he could fast-forward six or seven years into the future, past graduation and college to when he was working at Star Labs or the police, trying to clear up his mother’s murder and free his dad from jail. He would be a more confident, self-aware man and he would have known about his feelings for Caitlin _before_ Ronnie Raymond had had a chance to sweep her off her feet. Cisco pulled Barry back from his fantasies with a hand on his shoulder.

“My friend,” he said, “you have two choices as far as I can tell: Let it go and watch Caitlin pair up with the most eligible teenage bachelor of Central City, similar to as you did with Iris when Eddie ‘the hot bolt’ Thawne did, _or_ ” and he moved his face closer to Barry’s with a grin on his face, turning to a whisper “and I like this option more,

“You could grovel at Caitlin’s feet, begging for forgiveness and hope to all the gods up in the sky that she sees your side of it and agrees to be friends again. And from there on, you can lay the groundwork of telling her how you feel about her.” Barry couldn’t help his facial muscles from raising the corners of his mouth, gratitude for his friend raising his spirits and filling his heart.

“I _really_ don’t want to make the same mistake twice,” he said, following it with a chuckle and holding out his fist to Cisco. “Thank you. You’re a really good friend, you know that, right?” Cisco bumped his fist against Barry’s and they made explosive sounds pulling away from each other, ending in laughter. Cisco beamed.

“I know, I am just _awesome_ ” he said. “Hey can you give me a quick ride home?” he added. “I don’t think my parents know I’m gone yet, and I’d like to keep it that way. You know, to avoid being grounded and stuff.” Barry laughed, agreed, and let Cisco jump on his back before he _flashed_ them back to the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be angry at me. comments and/or tumblr. link will be somewhere


	8. Flickers of Hope

The next week in school wasn’t easy. But boy, did it go by fast.

The news of Caitlin and Ronnie going to the dance together travelled at an immense speed. Of course, the simple fact that Ronnie sat and talked with Caitlin every lunch period and walked her to class afterwards _carrying her book bag_ did sort of perpetuate that. People were talking about them, whispering. Two girls standing next to Barry’s locker every day were gossiping about why Caitlin could have transferred to school, making up more and more ludicrous reasons as the days progressed. Barry ended their conversations with a slam of his locker door and hissing “stop making up lies” at them.

Every chance he got, Barry apologized. He didn’t care that he’d already said it twice before earlier that day, he would tell her he’s sorry again and again, until she forgave him. He got some hope when after a whole week, Caitlin still hadn’t asked their chem lab teacher to assign her to a new partner. He said as much to her, which got him the first reply since that night at her balcony.

“I didn’t ask for it because that would be childish, Barry.” Her tone wasn’t mean or agitated. Not even angry, really. It was more of the matter-of-fact way that she uses so often. When she knows she’s right, when she’s predicting the outcome of an experiment to weigh out the ingredients, when she looks over Barry’s English homework assignment about _To Kill A Mockingbird_. How Barry missed that right now.

“Still. Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me.” His puppy-dog eyes would have betrayed him if she had looked at him in that second. He was done wishing for the time when they were friends and joking around, and he hadn’t said what he’d said, and Ronnie hadn’t done what he’d done, back. He revelled in those memories, yes, but he was done sulking over them. He was dead-set to get that bond back with her. But in that single moment, when the memory of her head next to his, leaning over his shoulder, the scent of her hair filling his lungs, came over him – He didn’t know what feeling took the upper hand with him: Hating himself for ruining this, or just missing her.

He hadn’t felt so alone surrounded by people even when Iris was making out with Eddie five feet away from him.

“Besides,” Caitlin threw her hair back and looked at him, a smile on her face. Barry had just enough time to clear away the last of his expression away, and was immediately infected with her smile. His returning it made Caitlin’s smile grow even bigger.

“It seems like you’re still eager to make up for something. It wouldn’t be fair to cut off your only means of redeeming yourself, now would it?”

Barry dropped his gaze, the blood rushing to his face and ears. “Thank you” he said quietly, and the teacher up front decided to start his class.

He didn’t know how he should feel about what Caitlin had said until the very end of the class. Was she playing with him? Was she egging him on? Was he not ‘doing his best’ yet in her opinion? Everyone was packing up and Caitlin seemed to be in a bigger hurry than usual. Her eyes kept wandering towards the door. Barry was about to ask her what was wrong when she leaned over the desk until she was a mere 4 inches away from his nose.

 _Don’t look at her lips, don’t look at her lips_ , Barry told himself.

 _Don’t mess this up_.

“Thanks for trying so hard,” she said quietly about the ruffling noises around them, “I just need to know you’re sincere.” And with that she was out of the classroom.

She didn’t even hear his “I _am_ ”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *theatrical voice* the end is neeeeeeaaaaaaar if I ever get up off my holiday ass and write it up.  
> Encourage me in the comment section, or tell me to bugger off.


	9. Agreement

Things moved slowly from here on. Barry saw Caitlin less and less over the next week, and when he did, she was always accompanied by Ronnie.

“You know, it’s funny,” he said to Cisco during lunch, the Monday before the dance. “I have been talking to Caitlin every chance I get, but never when he’s around. I’ve never said a single word to him.”

Cisco was busy biting pieces off the sandwich his mother packed him. The guacamole spilled over an edge, and he licked it off quickly.

“Wo, tod spleens if” He wasn’t spitting or anything, but Barry moved his head back and pulled his lips up to his nose as if pieces of sandwich were indeed leaving Cisco’s mouth.

“Want to try that again, dude?” he asked, handing a paper napkin to his struggling friend.

“That explains why you don’t like the guy much,” Cisco said clearly after he wiped his lips. “If you had, he would have probably charmed the pants off of you.” With a smirk and a wink, Cisco returned his attention to the other corner of his sandwich.

Barry’s gaze went back to Caitlin, sitting at the cool kids’ lunch table next to Ronnie. They were surrounded by Ronnie’s friends, jocks and cheerleaders. Eddie sat on Caitlin’s other side, making an effort every now and then to include her in a conversation he was having with another guy from his track team. Caitlin seemed mostly focused on the salad she had brought, picking at the random pieces of pasta it contained. She seemed to duck her head further into her spine every time Eddie let the conversation slip back to just him and his friend, and she managed to manoeuvre a fork full of something into her mouth whenever anyone else diverted their attention to her.

Just then Barry noticed Iris walking up behind them, glaring at Eddie and Caitlin’s backs as she walked past and up to Barry and Cisco’s table. She still wasn’t over Eddie breaking up with her. Especially not over his coach.

“Barry, great you’re here, I need a favour.” She let her binder fall onto the metal table with a loud bang, her copy of _Macbeth_ sliding off it and next to her onto the floor. She picked it up in talking.

“Listen, the newspaper club is going to run a late meeting today, part of discussing who’s covering the dance, who’s covering the game on Sunday, and who’ll do the clean-up-scoops on these drunk car-crash-like-accidents waiting to happen.” She looked around her on the last part, and as Barry involuntarily followed her gaze, he couldn’t say he would have been able to describe what was going to happen at the dance better. The school was full of hormone-crazed teenagers with a supply to alcohol and lots of things to prove to each other.

“And on top of that,” she continued merrily and far less annoyed than she made herself out to be, “the dance committee is also meeting after class. We still haven’t gotten everything we need, and I don’t want to be there putting everything up, so I have to go and put my foot down on that. I did all the pre-work, and I’m leading the clean-up. They can do stuff on their own.” She pouted at their surroundings.

Barry looked at Iris’s face. He worried she was taking on too much, that this was her way of saying she was in over her head and overwhelmed and needed someone to tell her to take a break. No matter how he felt about her, she was still Iris, the girl he’d grown up with and was like family to him. He could tell by her behaviour over the past weeks that not being with Eddie wore her down. She would take on more and more responsibilities at the newspaper club, writing extra essays for her English AP class and talked about volunteering at the animal shelter during her weekends. _Now that she had so much time_ , she’d said, a smile proud on her lips but her eyes showing the hurt. The only reason she did all the pre-work for the dance was because she had to get her mind off the fact that Eddie wouldn’t be the one to take her to it. Barry sighed and let the concern leave his eyes. It didn’t work entirely.

“And what do you need me for then?”

“I need you to take the car and drive home yourself? I’m going to be here for a while, and Rachel said she’d give me a ride. Which is great because I need to talk to her about how they need to put up the decorations, and if I do it during the meeting, everyone will think someone else is listening when in fact no one will, and it won’t get done. Can you do that for me?”

Barry scratched his eyebrow, acting as if he didn’t catch all of that because his hearing was too slow when in fact he did just fine of course. “Yeah, sure,” he nodded, “when will you be home? In time for dinner?” He thought of Joe’s special chicken al forno he was going to make that evening. From the way Iris’ face lit up and she bit her bottom lip, he could tell so did she.

“Of course, it’ll be my beacon of light throughout the whole thing.” She got up and searched in her bag for the keys, throwing them at Barry when she found them. She said her goodbye to him, stressing heavily her goodbye to Cisco as if to not make him feel excluded (though he had been far too busy with the guacamole dripping off his other sandwich) as she picked up her binder and book before turning around and leaving for the building again.

“Dum, dju agri t’teek er jit?” Cisco didn’t learn from his mistakes. Not when it involved delicious food.

“Yeah, I accepted her apology, and said I’d take her last night. It was very civil. She was happy, and said thanks and we hugged. And that was that.” Barry put the keys away and let his head fall into his palm, held high by his propped up elbow on the table.

“She seems t’be over Eddie alright,” Cisco ventured with less food in his mouth.

“No, she’s just…good at hiding it,” Barry replied, his gaze person by person creeping back to Caitlin two tables away from him. She was just being talked to by Ronnie again, a smile on her lips. Barry couldn’t help but feel sad at that. Does she smile like that when she’s talking to _him_?

When Ronnie turned his head towards one of the cheerleaders trying desperately to catch his attention, Caitlin’s eye flickered over to Barry’s. She raised her hand slightly and attempted an inconspicuous wave. Barry smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes, and waved back with his free hand. How long before he could go up to her again and talk to her, and make her smile again as he used to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What what, what, what, what what what?  
> I live on the internet. SO tell me what you think of this. here or on tumblr, an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com


	10. Confrontation Revelation

Barry didn’t believe what he was seeing. He looked around him another time, scanned the carpark, looking for another bright yellow beetle ready to fall apart at any moment, rust creeping from the metal by the wheels. There was none, so it had to be for real.

Leaning against Iris’ car was Ronnie Raymond.

Barry’s mind immediately went to two possible reasons for that: 1. Ronnie thought that Iris would be the one to drive home right now, so he was waiting for her. For whatever reason, either he wanted to hit on her or… Barry was fantasizing about that it seemed. Of course Ronnie wouldn’t do that when he’s so actively wooing Caitlin. Option number 2 made Barry want to double back into the building though. Ronnie had come here looking for Barry. But that couldn’t be – there was nothing for them to talk about. They hadn’t said a single word to each other in all their lives. Wait that wasn’t true. Barry remembered giving Ronnie a pat on the shoulder and saying “great game, man!” once when the school’s football team won against Starling City High’s team. But everyone on the hallway was doing it, so that didn’t count. And Barry was certain Ronnie didn’t even notice him doing that.

Barry gulped when Ronnie turned his head and caught sight of him. Now he had nowhere left to run. Ronnie straightened up at Barry’s face, squaring his shoulders at him, waiting patiently for Barry to come to the car. Barry’s mind kept going over and over all the possible scenarios that could unfold before him within the next minute.

Ronnie could flat out punch him. He may have heard about his fight with Caitlin, and because Caitlin was upset and Ronnie fancies himself her protector or whatever ( _douchebag_ , Barry’s inner voice whispered, though he knew he would do the same the other way around), he would give Barry a good beating to even out the playing field.

Ronnie could also just tell Barry to keep away from Caitlin, because it was obvious he had feelings for her. Barry couldn’t say honestly to himself that that would be better than taking a beating from a football player.

The third scenario, and Barry actually dreaded this one _most_ of all, was that Ronnie could be asking him tips on how to make Caitlin like him. How to woo her best. What she likes and dislikes, where he should take her for dinner, what music she listens to – it seemed like that nightmare people talk about, being naked in High School. It would strip him bare of all protection he had left, all the advantage he might have had, everything he kept to himself.

Throughout all this thinking, Barry barely registered that he had arrived at the car. Ronnie reached out his hand and Barry shook it. It was a firm handshake, and Ronnie introduced himself with his full name.

“Yeah, I know who you are” Barry replied with his head ducked. Introducing himself seemed futile, because if Ronnie was waiting at his car and knew what he looked like, he knew who he was, too. In a last attempt to calm his nerves, Barry inched towards the driver’s door.

“Look, I don’t know what you heard, but I don’t actually know how to hack exam results. And believe me, no one is more disappointed by the inaccuracy of that rumour than me.”

Ronnie chuckled and crossed his arms in front of his chiselled chest, placing his hands under his armpits. Barry threw his bag on the passenger seat through the open door. He exhaled quietly, but it was a long one.

“No I didn’t come here for that. Listen, I know you know Caitlin.” Barry gulped.

“She talks about you a lot, you know. Every other conversation we have, she mentions you like 20 times.”

Barry felt happiness and pride rise up from his heart and couldn’t keep it off his face. He tried to hide his smile by looking down. Ronnie was wearing nice, new looking sneakers. Barry’s vans were about to get multiple holes in them.

“Oh, really?” He replied, as nonchalant as possible. Ronnie nodded, but Barry kept his eyes fixed on the asphalt for as long as possible.

“See, the thing is, when I asked Caitlin to be my date for the dance, I didn’t know her very well. Or rather at all. I didn’t see any guys hanging out with her, so I figured she wasn’t taken. I’ve been watching her for a while you know. That smile…” Ronnie’s voice trailed off, and when Barry looked up to see why, he could see that his mind did so as well for a moment. Barry couldn’t blame him. Thinking of Caitlin’s smile made his heart beat a bit faster, too.

“It’s not something you just forget about, you know.” Barry nodded. Of course he did. _Of course_ he did. Ronnie took his hands from under his pits and put them in his back pockets. He was fidgeting, and Barry didn’t know if it was because of him, or because he was thinking of Caitlin. Either way, it drove Barry crazy. If he had any courage left in his bones, he would have asked Ronnie what exactly the point was he was trying to make, or get to, and was so skilfully avoiding to state.

Ronnie seemed to hear his thoughts.

“So I just wanted to ask: Did I step on your feet?” The sincerity with which he looked into Barry’s eyes caught the latter a bit by surprise. Barry didn’t quite know what to say. If he were to say yes, what would happen? Would Ronnie blow off his whole attempt to woo Caitlin? Would he tell her he’s not going to the dance with her? Would he-

Even his inner voice stopped thinking about the possibilities that would arise from saying ‘yes’ to what Ronnie asked him. He knew it wouldn’t be right. Barry knew he couldn’t say it even if he wanted to. No more lies.

“No, you didn’t” he answered, shaking his head and dropping it far enough so he could rub the back of his neck. It pained him to admit it to himself, but Ronnie had done _nothing_ wrong. He had been earnest and honest this whole time, while Barry had _not_. Intentionally or not, he hadn’t been true to Caitlin or himself, and it was time he levelled with that completely.

Ronnie exhaled forcefully at that, mouthing an ‘okay’ at the air around them.

“Good,” he said. His eyes burned into the top of Barry’s head, making him look up in a strained squint. “Because I _really_ like her, Barry. And I don’t plan on letting that go unless she tells me off.”

The strength with which he said that made Barry fall back into himself a little. He could see it in Ronnie’s eyes that he meant it, and he had every right to. And goodness, if Caitlin deserved any kind of a boyfriend, _it would be the one who felt and talked like that_.

But Barry, in all his fairness, admiration and honesty, felt the same way about her. And he, too, could be _that guy_. So he squared his shoulders, put his chin up and looked the jock in front of him straight in the eyes.

“Good. Me neither.” And with those words, he sat down in the driver’s seat, shut the door and started the engine. Ronnie moved away from the trunk of the car, and Barry drove home, uncertain of whether to be jubilant about his little scene just then, or embarrassedly hitting himself on the head for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fight with him. And me if you're that way inclined, the comment section and my tumblr ask box are open for ya.  
> Muse must hit me to create a story out of the rough line I have for the next two chapters ....


	11. The Night of the Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "it's kind of a blood orange" - "blood orange? fucking pretentious...it's fucking red"

He had to admit that a suit made him look more handsome than his usual sweater and jeans. The tie felt like it could strangle him with every sip of punch he would take that evening. A little tug at it failed to loosen it up, so Barry resigned on the matter. If the fabric _did_ manage to constrict his airways, he would at least be spared of seeing Caitlin all beautiful and as sparkly as she was unattainable for him tonight. After his declaration of war on Ronnie over her two days ago, Ronnie refused to let Caitlin out of his sight. Between every period he would walk her from and to classrooms, he would all but pin her to his hip during lunch, and every day he would stand at their chem lab door, ready to carry her binder and walk her to her car. The only time Barry still had the opportunity to carry on a conversation with Caitlin was when they were supposed to be working on creating a combustible solution during class. Let’s just say the slight danger of distracting both of them from creating a _safe_ explosive hadn’t stopped him.

“So, are any of your other girlfriends going to the dance tomorrow?” he had asked her as casually as possible.

Caitlin was focused on pouring the right amount of sodium chloride into the beaker, an inch of wavy chocolate coloured hair falling towards it. Barry, watching her every move anyways, caught it and carefully flipped it back under her hair tie. Caitlin barely even noticed.

“Well, Ashley is going with her boyfriend. And Lilly got asked last minute by Tim, so she seems to be going as well.”

“Which Tim, McKenna or Lee?” Barry didn’t actually care a lot, but the way Caitlin talked when she was concentrating on something put a smile on his face. She was so unguarded in these moments. He could have told her he loved her right then and there, and she would have barely realized, but replied with her true feelings. Or that she knew. Did she know?

“Lee. Tim McKenna is taking Vivienne Westwood, remember?” Of course he didn’t. And he probably wouldn’t even after this conversation. But he would remember the feeling of her soft hair against his fingertips, and how she smiled and her eyes lit up and locked with his when their solution made a _pang_ and white foam started creeping up the beaker. Or the way Caitlin’s face to turn a little aggravated when Ronnie blocked the door again a minute after the bell rang. Which he may have imagined. Or not, he wasn’t too sure about that to be honest.

 A friendly clap on his shoulder brought Barry back to reality, and put him a little more at ease about the tie around his neck.

“It hasn’t killed _me_ yet, so it won’t kill you tonight”, Joe said behind him, appraising his own tux on his (foster-)son’s lanky frame. “We gotta get you your own soon, Bar. Bespoke would suit you even better thank my smaller tuxes.”

Barry had put on one of Joe’s tuxedos for tonight, and it fit him a little loose around the shoulders and waist. Joe was a grown man after all, and Barry still had some expanding to do. But none the less, they could both agree on it looking good on Barry, and it being quite sufficient for a homecoming dance.

Barry checked his watch. It was quarter to 8. By all means, Iris was a little late. He tried his luck by shouting up the stairs for her to hurry, but all he got back was an ‘in a minute’ which she had repeated to him and her father approximately 10 times over the last 15 minutes. The flower Joe had just remembered to attach to Barry’s jacket matched the corsage Barry had put down next to the mirror, and according to Iris also her dress. Joe had not let Barry talk him into not taking pictures of the two of them. He’d finally silenced Barry with the fact that, seeing as Barry was so obviously in love with Caitlin, and Eddie would probably come crawling back to Iris after one of his team mates hit on her that evening, he would never get another picture of just the two of them going to the dance. It didn’t surprise so much as startle Barry when Joe took a candid picture of him tugging on his tie at the foot of the stairs.

“Yeah, all right,” Barry had said with his palms directed at his foster-dad, “Iris! Get your btt down here, your father is taking paparazzi pictures of me, I can’t take it any longer!”

“I’m here” came from the platform that evenly split the stairs in two. Both men turned their heads in her direction. Their jaws dropped at the same time.

Iris’ hair was left mostly hanging loose by her face, soft wavy curls shining in the light. Her long bangs had been softly braided and pulled back into a knot behind her head. Her eyes were simply highlighted with light blue sparkly eyeshadow and grey eyeliner. Her lips were polished with shimmering lipgloss.

The dress was a strapless baby blue, gathered underneath her bust and from there spreading out as if the fabric simply trailed around and behind her. A long piece of fabric in the exact same colour was draped over her arms and fell by her side accompanying her dress. In one hand she held a dark blue clutch, while her other fastened her earrings, which looked like three chandelier strings dangled from each earlobe.

It was completely beautiful, and completely Iris, Barry thought.

“Baby, you look so beautiful”, Joe said with emotion heavy in his voice, as his daughter ascended the stairs.

“Thanks, Dad.” She said. With an approving look up and down Barry, she added an “as do you” for him. Barry was a bit startled.

“Yeah, thanks, ehm, you look really nice” was all he could say. Joe shot back into action then, because Iris reached for Barry’s hand to walk to the door.

“No, no wait, pictures first, you promised.” He said as he lifted the camera up higher and focusing the lens on his kids.

Iris was all too happy to pose on Barry’s arm, cracking out a truly dazzling and genuine smile with every picture Joe took. After ten pictures they finally made it to the car, almost forgetting Iris’ corsage. Halfway to their school, Iris turned to Barry, who was driving, and placed her hand on his on the steering wheel.

“I’m really grateful that we’re going to the dance together, Bar. And that we’re still friends.”

Barry smiled at her, thought about it for a moment, and then replied with an honest and heartfelt “you know, so am I.”

If he was being honest with himself, he probably wouldn’t have had the guts to ask Caitlin to the dance anyways. He would have chickened out, maybe not even realized he liked her more than Iris for another few months, and missed out on a fun evening with his friends. This situation wasn’t ideal, but it was good. It was okay.

When the two of them walked into the gymnasium, Iris’ hand locked with Barry’s arm, Barry couldn’t help but do a pose – but given the looks they immediately got, it was completely justified. Everybody stared at them in awe, girls and boys eyeing up Iris and her dress, and being almost shocked when they saw Barry looking as handsome as he did next to her. The hand connected to the arm that kept Iris close moved to his tie to fake-straighten it out, and he kinked an eyebrow as he looked across the giant hall. He could see Cisco standing a few groups away from them, talking to his date Lisa Snart, and other people from the mechanics shop. The punch bar was right between them.

“Shall we go get some drinks first?” Barry asked, intent on making his way to Cisco afterwards. Iris gave an affirmative nod, but was soon swept away by one of her committee members about some balloons that blocked an air vent, and no one could find the janitor to move them.

“Oh for crying out loud….” Iris mumbled before she made a rushed excuse to Barry, thrust her drink in his hand, and hurried off with the girl. Barry sipped his own drink while he looked for the quickest way to get to Cisco, when his eyes locked with a pink mass standing a small foot away from a group of black tuxedos who seemed to be laughing loudly at something. Between the funny guys, all jocks, and a group of cheerleaders all dolled up in the most colourful dresses Barry had ever seen, stood Caitlin. She had curled her hair to a point, the chocolate strands falling by her face in corkscrews. The front two were simply pinned back over her ears, making it easier to see her pink cheeks and piercing hazel eyes. Barry couldn’t see what kind of makeup she had put around them, but all he knew was that it made them stand out even more than usual. Caitlin had a silver lightning bolt shaped pendant around her neck that blended in perfectly with her frilly pink dress. Her sleeves were puffs on her shoulders, the dress slid down her torso and past her hips, the smooth fabric just not touching the floor.

Barry hadn’t expected her to look like that at all, but judging by the way his mouth fell into an ‘o’, his eyes widened, and his breath seemed to come shallow, then all the heavier at once, that was the last thing on his mind right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go peeps!! ... and if I can't seem to wrap things up well, an epilogue, too.   
> Come cry with me on my tumblr, an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com  
> My ask box and comment section is always open for comments, tips, questions and telling me I suck!  
> Have a wonderful day people :)


	12. Quite the Pair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Barry sees Caitlin at the dance, he is hell-bound on getting a final apology to her and maybe, for once, not messing things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between vacation and a fuckload of assignments as soon as Uni started back up again, my muse had also left me, so I apologize for the wait.  
> This is the last chapter, and I'm not really planning on an epilogue anymore to be honest. If I do, I'll re-open the work for it though.  
> ENJOY!

He couldn’t tear his eyes off her.

It didn’t matter that every so often a hand would touch the small of her back, to which Caitlin gave a reassuring smile that Barry knew to be acted. He barely even registered Ronnie standing sort of next to Caitlin, but still in his circle of jock friends, laughing away at whatever jokes they were telling.

What mattered was how she turned her head after one of those put-on smiles, and saw him. Her eyes widened a bit in surprise, and as she lifted a hand awkwardly to attempt the tiniest wave, her lips rose as well. Barry told himself that this time, it was a genuine smile. Then again, he could have just been _telling himself_ that.

It gave him enough courage to put down the drinks and go over to her, though.

He ignored the looks he got from the cheerleaders as they were cackling away about something, and halted a safe, respectable distance from Caitlin.

He offered a shy “hi”.

The smile on her face grew wider and she tilted her head to the side the way she often did. She returned his greeting fondly.

If Ronnie had noticed Barry coming up, he was tremendous in not letting it show. The group of sportsmen seemed deep in conversation, and Barry decided not to let the opportunity get away from him.

“Can we talk?” he asked Caitlin, looking at her with his lips pressed together sheepishly, his eyebrows more visible than his eyelashes.

Caitlin nodded. “Want to get some punch?” she suggested. Barry sighed of relief, nodding his head up and down. He had imagined this to go a lot worse. Caitlin touched Ronnie’s shoulder lightly, spoke to him in a quiet voice, and swept past his back. Ronnie looked after her, saw Barry, and the surprise on his face turned to stone. The boys looked at each other for a moment, then Ronnie simply nodded, barely noticeable, and turned back to his friends slowly.

It didn’t go past Barry’s attention that Caitlin had locked her arm with his while they were making their way through the gymnasium towards the punch table. The flutters in his stomach, and the sweat accumulating in the clenched palm of his hand unfortunately couldn’t make it past his attention, either. Or the way his voice slightly broke when he asked for two glasses, _again_ , and the junior behind the giant bowl frantically cast his gaze back and forth over the two of them.

Caitlin pulled him to the side of the table by his elbow, where it was slightly less loud and less full of awkward, hormonal, and horny teenagers. She nursed the plastic cup in her hand, waiting just that moment longer to look up from it and into Barry’s brown eyes. The blood rushed to his cheeks, and if he had given himself just one encouraging pep-talk less that evening, he would have had the decency to look away. Instead he stayed, unwavering, looking at her. _Very_ bashful, but maybe just because of that, _very_ like Barry. Caitlin had trouble hiding the smile that played around her mouth, her eyes dropping back to her cup once or twice before she found the courage to speak.

“So, how has your night been going?” She looked around for a moment, before adding “I haven’t seen Iris yet, where is she?”

Barry cast a lazy eye around the room, hardly even trying. “She got whisked away by someone from the committee, apparently she’s the only one who can fix something, or whatever.” He cleared his throat. The tightness wouldn’t go away.

“I see the cheerleaders are keeping a tight group.” Caitlin’s head dropped again.

“Yeah, I actually have no idea what they’re talking about to be honest. But whatever it is, they are very caught up in it. It felt rude to intrude, so I just waited for an opening before joining the conversation. I think I drifted away in my head though,” she said suddenly biting her lower lip and looking to the side, “because I think we’ve been here for, like, half an hour already.” She suddenly jerked her head up again.

“Did you get a chance to think about our chem assignment yet? Because I was just thinking, maybe if we-“

“You look really beautiful tonight”, Barry blurted out. His heart picked up pace and the cup was threatening to slip out of his grip, but he didn’t care. The boy had made up his mind that he needed to get this out, give it one more try, give it his best shot. And god, he just couldn’t keep the fact that she looked like a fairy from a fairy-tale out of his mouth anymore.

Caitlin gained colour in her cheeks and flashed her teeth at him.

“Thank you” she said, reaching her hand out to touch his arm but stopping herself midway. _Ok, now’s as good a time as ever_ , Barry said to himself.

“Listen, Caitlin, I just really have to tell you this. I’m really sorry for the way I behaved. I let my feelings take over my brain, and I shouldn’t have, and I guess the truth of it all is, is that, is that _I_ …” His eyes swept over her face, went to the ceiling, looked at everything _but_ her once, before landing on her big, cocoa-coloured eyes. She was looking at him expectantly, her breath caught in her throat. Barry looked down, trying desperately to clear the tightness in his throat away, failing miserably. It wouldn’t go away until he said it, and the boy knew it. What he wouldn’t give for that extra speed to help him in _some way_ right now.

He took a deep breath. Caitlin waited patiently, joining in his inhale.

“I acted out when Ronnie asked you to the dance, because I… I can’t compete with a guy like _Ronnie Raymond_. Doesn’t matter _how much_ I like you.”

He didn’t dare lift his gaze. He didn’t dare look at Caitlin even for a _flashing_ moment.

“Apology accepted,” the girl said. Barry looked up to see her smile, so affectionate, so endearing, at him. _Him_. The tightness in his throat went away, because at least, and at _last_ , he had said it. Out loud. To the girl he liked and denied his feelings for, he admitted them. And she –finally- seemed to have forgiven him for being a total and utter ass.

“And,…” she added, adjusting the grip on her cup again, flashing it a smile instead of her opponent, “ _thank you_.” Her eyes came back up to his, and the nervous smile she flashed him created new knots in his belly that he was going to love untangling as he tried even harder.

“And I don’t know why you think Ronnie is so intimidating, by the way.” The brunette punched Barry’s arm playfully, making both of them laugh.

“I mean he’s a nice guy and all, and he’s really not what you think he’s like. Seriously, I think the two of you could actually be really good friends.” Barry had to scoff at that, though he was quick to apologize for it, and inspected his shoes.

“But he and I have nothing in common”, she finished, raising a corner of her mouth at him disapprovingly, but slightly amused still. “We don’t fit in each other’s world just yet.”

Barry let go of a sigh of relief he didn’t know he was clanging on to, laughing at himself as the air left his lungs. ‘Just yet’ was enough for him to let the threat of Ronnie go for now.

“So,” Caitlin continued after a moment of stolen glances and half smiles that involved bitten lips, and laughs that were half only a relief of tension, “have you had a chance to think over the chemistry assignment yet? Because I’ve come up with some pretty good ideas just now, and we _do_ have to do the assignment together, you know.”

Barry beamed at her. “We can talk about that later. Right now, how about a dance?” His arm spread out towards the dance floor invitingly, where Cisco seemed to be dancing with Lisa, but it looked more like he was goofing off and she was laughing with him. Behind them, Barry identified the blue shape of Iris’ dress, wrapped around a tall blonde figure clad in black. He had to admit that Eddie _did_ look well in a tuxedo. He _also_ had to admit that seeing Iris and Eddie together again left him oddly happy. No jealousy or anger, just an odd feeling of happiness for Iris. She sure seemed happy to be back with Eddie, and Eddie looked like he held the world in his arms.

Caitlin pulled Barry’s attention back to her when she took his hand and stepped to his side. “I’d love to” she answered his question. When Barry seemed suddenly awkward and unsure of where to put his hands, Caitlin took hold of them and put them on her back. She crossed hers in his neck. Looking into her eyes, Barry could see something was still running through her mind. He tried desperately to not smile at her.

“What, still thinking about the assignment?”

The girl’s hands came down rather violently on his shoulders, a sharp breath coming out of her mouth.

“Well, I can’t help it, I think I’m onto something here! And I’m partnered up with you, we need to talk this through!”

Barry’s head fell back with laughter. He held on to her back though.

“After all, we’re like _the_ science-team, you know. The teach always says we make quite the pair, Mr Allen.” She smirked at him, her head tilted teasingly. Barry fixated his eyes on hers, a smile wide on his face as he felt the blood rushing to his cheeks, while his breath remained even for once.

“Indeed we do, Dr. Snow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come cry with me on my tumblr, an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com  
> I encourage criticism and stuff!


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's just seen something very important, and now nothing can stop him from finally righting his past wrongs and following his heart - except maybe Cisco, who does his best to stand in his way.

There wasn’t anything that could stand in his way right now.

The giggling freshmen who were chasing Pokémon across the hall? Easy to navigate around.

The track-team that thought it was _the perfect time_ to let Eddie showcase his incredible hurdle-skills by kneeling down 10 feet apart for 5 “rows” in a hallway full of crowding students trying to get to class before the second bell? Ah come on, if the universe was going to try and stop him now, they should have at least given him a _challenge_.

It’s not like Mr. Stein would suddenly burst out of a science classroom at the end of the hallway yelling ‘ _Everybody out! Fire!!_ ’ – but when the last classroom door before the parking lot suddenly swung open, an unease crept up on him, expecting the worst.

‘ _Nah, this is just coincidence_ ’, Barry said to himself, half expecting the white-haired, bespectacled chem lab, biology and physics (seriously, what science subject _didn’t_ he teach and knew absolutely everything about?) teacher to fall out of the doorframe and burst into fiery screams. His heart gave a jolt of relieve when he recognized the luscious black locks that were so characteristic of Cisco walking out of the classroom instead, a lollipop rounding out his cheek and a grin on his face. When Cisco saw Barry two classrooms down, he raised his hand.

“Barry! Where you going?” He was obviously expecting a high five from the speedster, but Barry almost walked past him entirely neglectful.

“Sorry Cisco, not now”, he hastily tried to shake his best friend off, a hand coming down on his shoulder instead whilst trying to squeeze past him. But Cisco stepped in front of him, a wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows and the grin turning upside down, nearly causing his lollipop to fall out of his mouth. Cisco caught the stem just in time.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up buddy. Not so fast. What’s with that look on your face?” Cisco’s dark, almost black eyes darted across his best friend’s face, concern a main factor, but also amusement at Barry’s determination and impatience at being side-tracked causing him to take his sweet time. Ahh, torturing Barry Allen with sluggishness when he was giddy and excited was _so much fun_.

Barry was trying to get past Cisco on either side, but with a corridor full of High School students, he couldn’t speed past Cisco, and Cisco was doing a good job at keeping Barry rooted to where he stood.

“Cisco, come on man, not now, I gotta go do something.” When Cisco stepped in front of him for a fifth time, Barry almost shoved him back with more speed-force than intended. Or safe to display.

“Dude, I’m _serious!_ ”

Cisco couldn’t help the grin from spreading back across his face, eyes lit with mischief and his arms crossed over his chest.

“Nope, not before you tell me what it is you gotta do that’s ‘so important’. And remember: _it’s your own time you’re wasting_!”

Barry hated that phrase. But to be fair, as did Cisco, which is why it gave him such pleasure to repeat it sarcastically and sardonically at the most fitting times. Like this moment. Teachers use it to chastise students who are forced to spend their time in school, studying – usually – the factually false details of something they’ll forget as soon as the test is passed and will never think about again, unless they choose that subject to further implore on their own time.

Barry’s freshman year drama teacher used it every lesson, and the kids made it their job to waste as much of their time possible during that lesson. Suffice it to say their production of _Romeo and Juliette_ was very modern, in a way. Barely anyone knew any lines, so most of it was improvised from roughly knowing what happened in the play, sort of, because they watched the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio during class a couple of times. And the set itself was, well… minimalistic. Juliette vowed her undying love to Romeo from a chair on a table. Without even a cloth to cover the impromptu concoction of a balcony up. It was hilarious actually, in a way. Iris, the narrator, basically ended the play with “so you see: communication in a relationship is everything, and it’s best to not let teens get married. Or kill others. Or sneak out at night unattended. My dad sure as hell never would.”

With a sigh, but never really managing to stand still, Barry gave in.

“I need to find Caitlin.” Simple as that. Cisco raised an eyebrow.

“ _Why_?” He wouldn’t let Barry down easy. And Barry grew more impatient by the second, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, gripping the straps of his backpack tighter und throwing his head back into his neck. Every exhale seemed to be a sigh now.

“Because they’ve started selling tickets, Cisco!” He nearly shouted. Leonard Snart, a senior with a frosty attitude and older brother of Lisa Snart, Cisco’s homecoming partner and long-time crush, turned his head at those words as he walked by, an eyebrow cocked and his shoulders immediately squared into a dangerous-looking pose. Cisco unfolded his arms and seemed to shrink three inches. Barry also seemed miraculously shorter and less fidgety as he felt Snart’s eyes dart between Cisco and him.

Snart paused right between the two of them and looked at them both (though Barry would say he was looking mostly at Cisco).

“Don’t you start getting any ideas now. My sister’s not in the league of some nerdy, hormonal teenagers like you, and if I see either of you anywhere near her, I’ll break your arms. _All four of them_.”

And then he walked off, his best partner in crime Mick snickering in Barry and Cisco’s direction as he followed. Barry and Cisco both let out a breath they didn’t realize they had been holding.

“Dude,” Barry began, “you’re so lucky he doesn’t know you’re still seeing Lisa after school.”

Now Cisco was the one nearly shoving Barry away with a little too much force, shushing him and frantically looking around.

“Barry, _shut up man_ , I told you that in confidence, don’t go blasting it around school where people might actually _hear_ you.”

“Sure. Just let me pass and I’ll be on my way, out of earshot of anyone who can hear that you and Lisa Snart-“

“A-LALALALALALA”, Cisco started half-screaming, waving his hands around and turning around in a circle on the spot, fear written across his face. The curses he threw at Barry in his mind were terrific.

Barry laughed and returned his hands to the strips of his backpack, but more relaxed this time.

“So they’re selling tickets now. Have you asked her yet?” Cisco asked, finally having straightened up again and returning to keeping Barry from looking for Caitlin.

“Yeah totally, which is why I’m frantically looking for her at 8:12 am before the first bell, you know, just to let her know that they’re selling the tickets now and I’ve just bought two. _What the hell do you think, Cisco_?”

Cisco made a face that seemed to say ‘fair point’ and crossed his arms over his chest again.

“So how are you going to ask her then?” he asked.

Barry started to waver at this point. His hands were flying all over the place in gesticulation.

“I don’t know, does it matter? I just need to ask her. I need to ask her, like, _now_. As soon as possible. I was already too late once, I don’t want to be late again. If Ronnie asks her to prom before me _again_ , I swear to god, Cisco, I don’t know what I’ll _do_.”

Cisco considered his best friend for a moment. Then he stepped aside and waved an arm in a gesture of ‘you’re free to go’. Barry put a hand to the Latino’s shoulder and nodded.

“Thanks man”, he said as he walked past, only turning his head back to his friend to shout “and don’t forget to ask Lisa!”

Cisco’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at those words, fear clearly visible in them. Oh, he was in trouble now… if he _didn’t_ ask her, Lisa would most certainly be _fucking pissed_. But if he _did_ ask her, her brother would make the dance a murder-mystery game in the dark with him – and possibly Barry- as victims. Oh boy.

Stepping out onto the parking lot filled with students dreading to go to class, it only took Barry 3 seconds to find Caitlin. She was walking towards the entrance with a three girls from her first period French class, laughing about something trivial, probably.

A smile crossed Barry’s face, and he stopped for a second to gather up all his courage and strength.

 _Nothing’s going to keep you from asking her now, Barry. Not this time,_ he said to himself in a way that made him actually believe it and draw strength from it. Enough strength to walk through the swarm of hurried freshmen who feared they had missed the first bell right up to Caitlin. He nearly crashed into her like they were both blind, she didn’t see him coming. He caught her elbows by her side as she slightly bounced back from his chest, a high-pitched ‘oh!’ escaping her lips.

“Oh my goodness, Barry!” she managed to breathe when she recognized him.

“I nearly ran into you! Where did you come from?” she repositioned her book bag over her shoulder and gave Barry one of the loveliest, half-tired smiled he had gotten from her. The speedster had to swallow before he could answer.

“From inside. I mean, from the cafeteria. I mean, actually,” he stammered raising a hand to cover his eyes and only looking back up as he heard Caitlin laugh at his clumsiness.

“I was inside, and then I saw something, and I immediately had to come find you and now I did”, he finally came out with.

Caitlin cocked her head to the side questioningly.

“Really? Well what did you see?” she was genuinely intrigued, and Barry wished he could dazzle her with a science quiz instead, but he reminded himself of the homecoming dance disaster and remained on course.

“They started selling tickets to prom today”, he said, his eyes focused on the slightest change in Caitlin’s expression. Her head popped back into its original, vertical position, and her eyebrows shot up.

“Oh” was all she said. She stood up straight and blinked a couple of times, not quite able to meet Barry’s gaze but also not managing to look away from him.

“And I remember distinctly that at the last big school dance, I… behaved like an ass, more or less.”

“More so than less”, Caitlin quietly remarked, putting a smile on both their faces and a rosy colour over Barry’s face.

“Yes, I guess it’s fair to say more so than less.” He massaged his neck for a few seconds and then looked straight back up into Caitlin’s brown eyes. They were trained on him and if he were any more hopeful, Barry would have said they were full of fondness when she looked at him like that.

“I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t want to run any risks.” It was now or never.

“So I don’t have a great speech or a wild gesture or an incredibly gaudy _promposal_ or something but-“

“ _Barry._ ” Caitlin softly interrupted him, her lips pursed together slightly and looking up at him through her eyelashes. She was even leading him when he was trying to ask her to prom!

Again, Barry relaxed as the smile spread back across his face, sure of her answer now and of where they stood with each other.

“Will you go to prom with me, Caitlin Snow?” he bit his lower lip for a moment, enjoying the teasing silence between them. Who knew dark brown eyes could light up like this?

“Of course I will”, she finally answered, touching her foot to his ankle, biting her lower lip as well and shifting her weight a little. Barry’s grin spread from ear to ear, and he spread his arms out to pull Caitlin into a tight hug. Her chin just about reached the top of his shoulder, but it was all he had wished for from the girl he just _knew_ he was going to marry someday.

 

Iris went to prom with Eddie of course, and Cisco – no doubt half-forced by an angry Lisa who wouldn’t wait any longer to be asked – went with his now _official_ girlfriend. Barry and Caitlin weren’t official _yet_ , but rumours of them being _so in love_ with each other had been spreading around the school since they danced together at the homecoming dance. Ronnie ended up going with the hottest chick on the cheerleading squad, Amaya, called _Vixen_ by her fellow cheerleaders. Barry knew he was going to marry Caitlin someday before prom even began – but Caitlin was sure of it _after_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about writing this epilogue for, like, a whole year now, and as I've finally got some more time to write, I finally managed to get it out on paper!  
> It's really, REALLY the last part of this AU though, so I hope it satisfies you and it's good enough to end this part of my writing! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STAYING WITH ME ALL THIS TIME!!!!! SENDING YOU ALL MASSIVE HUGS!!! ♥  
> If you'd like to, check up on my works on here periodically, because I've got a lot of new ideas for Bellarke/SnowBarry/various stories, and I'm really up for writing new things!!  
> You can of course always come cry with me on my tumblr account (an-effed-up-mess.tumblr.com) or even send me prompts!! I'd be happy to try and fulfill some of your short story dreams :)  
> Have a good one, people; spread love, kindness, and forgiveness, but don't take any shit and stand up for yourself and what's right! Sending hugs to you all!!


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